I always think of New Year’s Eve as a unique kind of magic where the past and the future exist at once in the present. And as we countdown to it, we’re sharing the burden of our past and committing to the promise of future. That’s the beauty of the year-end. And to celebrate it in my own little way (like I do every year), here goes this post. Hope you’ll be able to bear it until the end. 😊
As the new year is about to begin, it’s about time that we reflect where we are and where all can we be, and slow things down. It’s time that we look back on the happenings of the year and fill our mind with memories- both good and bad. It’s important that we acknowledge all the lessons that we learned in the past year. So here goes my list:
1. There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
Okay, caption too fancy. Well, it’s true. This is probably the most important lesson that I have learnt and gone through this year. Most of us spend our entire lives living with an illusion that we must only reach for pleasures without pain, praise without reprimand and nice without mean.
The thing is, everything has two sides, the universe is two-sided, and everything around us is in perfect equilibrium in any given moment. If we think that something will give us more positives than negatives, we’re only living in a fool’s paradise. We all crave for good moments but the truth is that sufferings are inevitable, we all screw things up and this is how life goes on.
We too, as humans, are bipolar. If we’re honest with ourselves, we’ll all realize that we’re both saint and sinner, noble and cruel, and that’s completely normal and perfect.
If we live our lives thinking that we’ll only seek for pleasure without pain, we’ll be setting ourselves up for the very pain we wish to avoid. The sooner we realize and acknowledge this balance and observe and appreciate the equilibrium around us, the better.
2. You before anyone
Another thing I’ve learnt this year is that what we think about ourselves makes all the difference. Everyone would agree to the fact that we have a part that uplifts us and the other that pulls us down. We live with ourselves all the time, and nobody will think as intensely about us as we think about ourselves, which is why it makes all the difference in the world.
People treat us exactly the way we subconsciously treat ourselves. Their behaviour towards us will ultimately reflect our inner mannerisms. This only points to the fact that how important it is to love ourselves.
Everything happens for a reason. People change so that we can learn to let go. We believe lies so we learn to trust no one but ourselves. People leave so we try to love ourselves first before others. False and exaggerated expectations are ‘designed’ to be rejected. Sometimes we attract in our lives major setbacks only to learn a message as simple as this. I like to believe that it’s the way of the universe, only to make us strong, self-sufficient and flawless (I do believe in the universe way way more than I believe in god). All we can do is self-inspect from time to time, change our beliefs and look at ourselves.
3. Love, loss, and legacy
Repeating what I already said-sufferings are inevitable. And everything serves, even our hardships. We attract tough times so that we humble down and become centered.
We all can relate this to a common observation that people with extremely successful career have a screwed up personal life because this is how equilibrium is ensured. If you’re extremely happy and elated about something one day, you’ll attract something that will pull you down and humble you.
Everything we do serves, even if we’re being mean to someone, or vice versa. When we love someone, we’re the nicest and the meanest to that person. There are always 2 sides to true love. In fact, the ones who push our buttons the most are our greatest teachers. This is how we learn to humble ourselves and survive because we’re here to have both sides of life’s coin.
4. Go big or go home
I’ve always despised the concept of mediocrity. This negative feeling that I have is directed towards people who think limited and act small, those who don’t dare, don’t dream and don’t challenge. It’s about those happy in a status-quo that doesn’t make them push any boundary.
The only fault to being a visionary though is that you are exposed to greater risks. Think of water: the deeper you dive into the ocean, more is the risk of drowning. Staying ashore is safe, but you don’t enjoy the experience of losing yourself in the crystals of blue water.
I hope that from the coming year forth, you’ll dream big, and will do whatever it takes to achieve it. Of course, for living your dreams there’s always a price. I hope that you get so clear about your desires that you can’t think of anything but that, and then it would be impossible for you not to get it.
It’s really important that we realize that everything that has happened to us, every single event, person or place was a part of the process we needed to build our dreams. If we try to connect back the dots of our lives, we’ll realize that not even a single thing was a mistake. There are no mistakes in life actually because everything happens only according to the laws of the universe and the divine order. All we need to do is trust our instincts.
One of my favorite quotes (by the great Indian philosopher Patanjali) goes like this:
When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties, and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.
The minute you truly commit to your dream, watch the Universe immediately bring you the resources and the challenges necessary to fulfill it.
5. Walk tall
Attachment is the root cause of suffering, that is, according to Buddhist principles. It’s always a great thing to care without expectations. We all invest ourselves emotionally to a very high extent in our relationships with families and friends. We’re all here to love people and to be loved by them. However, when you realize that something is no longer serving you in any way, you must have the power to walk away any second and not look back.
You must protect your values come what may, and at the same time, understand that different people have different set of values. They can live up to theirs, but not to yours.
You must always be courageous enough to realize your self-worth and to not settle for anything less than you deserve, and that the more you’re sacrificing yourselves for others, the more they’ll minimize you because you’re minimizing yourself. And as I said, the world will treat you the way you treat yourself.
I hope that you walk high, always. And that you’re always grateful and recognize what you have for what it is and see positive in every single thing that happens to you. I hope you appreciate small victories and the struggle it takes simply to be human. Sometimes, at the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to go on is reason enough to celebrate.
And always remember, they hit you out of nowhere. When bad things come, they come suddenly without warning. We rarely get to see the catastrophe coming. No matter how well we try to prepare for it. We do our best but sometimes it’s not good enough. We buckle our seat belts, wear a helmet, stick to the lighted paths. We try so hard to protect ourselves but it doesn’t make a damn bit of difference coz when bad things come, they come out of nowhere. But we forget, that sometimes, that’s how good things come too. 😊 (because that was enough of the scaring part)
Wishing you a very happening year filled with a roller coaster of events.
A very happy new year to all my readers. 🙂
P.S. I wrote this post after 6 long months, and mostly because I really needed to right now. And yeah, writing this felt so damn good! And if you’ve been a part of my life, I thank you now for every experience we’ve shared, good or bad, and for every lesson that I’ve learned from you. And I wish the very best for you.