I have just received a WordPress notification to celebrate a year since I first opened my blog: www.yuktakher.wordpress.com
Now you’d expect me to say that I didn’t realize how the time flew by. But I don’t feel like that at all. I feel that I have cherished every moment in the past year, and my blog has had a great contribution to that. By taking out time to write about things in this electronic diary, I feel I enhanced the moment even more.
Why did I even start a blog in the first place?
Honestly, being a student, I started this blog to improve my English.
At first, I had no plans about what to write. Before writing my first blog, I read some random posts by bloggers, and I was not sure whether I would be able to write as good as they do.
My first post was about a partially true story of my life. But later, I didn’t get any other story for my next blog posts.
I thought I would go for factual stuff, and wrote about Bill Gates and his eleven rules.
But somehow, somewhere on the way something changed. I’d say the significant change of my blog’s direction is marked by “Solitude is Bliss”, one of the first moments written in the now, the first encouraging ‘likes’ I ever got from other fellow bloggers, the first time I actually wrote about feelings rather than facts. It was a great success and it gave me a great invigorating feeling to keep writing.
And so the change had happened. I was no longer willing to write about facts but about the feelings it produced in me, whether it added any value to my life. Iconic is the post 24 Hours To Live.
It’s been a while since I listened to the creative voice in my head. The voice needs to explain the long break. And empathise with other voices.
So… why this long break young lady?
First of all, lack of energy. Writing consumes a lot of time and a motivation to complete. It’s not that I drain myself thinking on what to write, but because I have so many things to share with the world that I can’t pull myself together to actually do it.
Secondly, guilt. If I don’t write for long, this guilt deepens. I feel like I have missed on some important medication, or I’m chocked in a room full of suffocating smoke and need a space to breathe fresh air. Sometimes, I get weak. I don’t have the energy to stand up against daily routine, work, exam pressure, mundane worries… and I just collapse under this burden. And I feel guilty of not finding time to nurture my creativity.
Third, the heaviness of sharing. When I share my feeling, I give away a part of me. Giving away a part of yourself is not easy. Moreover, it’s like putting my feelings on a silver plate for others to judge or admire. Allowing others to be the judge to the personal collection of your feelings can be very terrifying.
But if there is one certain thing I have learned in this process of writing is that despite all the obstacles, the more and the better I do it, the harder it becomes for me to quit. Damn, writing this post felt so good.
I urge you to do the same thing: never give up on your passion. And don’t be too hard on yourself if you pause for a moment. It’s like riding a bike: you never forget how to do it.
My blog has now become more than just a website. It represents my journey from September 25, 2013. The main thing to take away from my journey so far is the evolution of one post to the other.
Am I changing? I would say I’m becoming more and more like myself.